Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways.”
- Stephen Vincent Benet
When I was about six months old my mother taught me to swim. It was in my grandmother’s pool in Florida. It was an outdoor pool which usually have a higher concentration of chlorine which was not exactly common knowledge. The chlorine ate a hole in my eardrum and I have been technically deaf since then. I can hear muffled noises, and if someone is directly next to me, speaking into that ear I can hear but when my hearing is tested in that ear I register as no hearing.
Being hard of hearing, one learns little tricks. Walk with my good ear to the conversation. Smile, laugh, use verbal cues. You learn how to fake it well. But then there are those people you don’t fake it with. The people you work with. The people you love. These are the people you can’t afford to fake it with.
I’ve worked with my co-worker nearly every day for the last seven months. Since day one, the day when I first met him, he has known I am hearing impaired. Not a day goes by when I don’t have to ask him to repeat himself nearly every time he says something to me.
I am so sick of asking him to repeat himself. My boss may not always remember, but she is always humble when I ask her to repeat herself. She always apologizes when and calls me because she remembers that that is easier for me to hear. It isn’t embarrassing. But when my requests to him to speak up are met with a snarky answer I feel ashamed. Ashamed for not being as easy to deal with as other people… like I need some special help…
It upsets me that with all the effort we put in to learning others habits and acclimating to them he cannot remember something so essential as to the fact that I can’t hear. Like I’m lower class… like it isn’t worth remembering.
Like I am not worth remembering.
B (May 11, 2010)
After 7 months how do you NOT remember something like that? Something so simple too! *hugs*
Annamarya (May 12, 2010)
I can understand not remembering but to be snarky and condescending? That screams “douchebag” right there. *hugs too*
Fea (May 14, 2010)
Well, it has a lot to do with where we work. Its what we do – remember people, remember idiosyncrasies.
For example:
- His dream job is at a resort in Africa that will remain nameless.
- He was injured very badly in a rugby game many years ago.
- He prefers to start his day drinking a boxed or bottled drink – not juice.
- He likes to walk to work in the morning by the river because it wakes him up.
At this company we build relationships with other people based on the things we know they would like and appreciate. We do what we can in little moments to make their day because that is how we relate to each other and that is how we will become a stronger team.
I would like to not have to ask someone who knows better to speak up.