We tend to think of the erotic as an easy, tantalizing sexual arousal. I speak of the erotic as the deepest life force, a force which moves us toward living in a fundamental way.
~ Audre Lorde
I’d never experienced it before, not in the flesh – and I yearn to experience it again. And again. And again.
You see, for the longest time I’ve known what I’ve wanted, but I’ve never understood it. I never understood what it truly is to submit. To want to do what I thought I least wanted to do but for the sheer fact that I would be doing it for him… and to love it because of it.
It is a double edged sword this incredible gift of self. To live in such a remote place the likelihood that I will find a man capable of dominating me is slim to none and for now I must be content within the constraints of vanilla sex. Sadly, the man to whom I owe my self-discovery does not want me any more than in friendship.
So I am both found and lost but happy all the same.
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